All the Wrong Paths
by Sasori Of The Sand
Summary: Imagine a world were Naruto is top in his class; Sasukes a delinquent; and Sakura is severally autistic. Team 7 is more different then ever, but will they be able to put that aside when they need to most?
1. Chapter 1

It was the first day at the academy and all was well...within reason that is...

Naruto was eagerly waiting for class to start. Sakura was somewhere off in la-la land doing whatever Sakura does. Sasuke was holding Kiba upside down by his leg, shaking him for his money. (Literally)

At that moment their sensei walked in. Sasuke looked up and then dropped Kiba. Who unfortunately landed on his head and was rendered unconscious. Sasuke then bent down looted Kiba's wallet and sat in his seat, the whole time never taking his eyes off of Iruka

Iruka didn't seem to notice because he then said:

"OK time to take roll!"

"Shino?"

"Here." Replied a barely audible voice from the back of the class

room.

"Choji?"

"I'm - here.." he managed to reply in between hand fulls of chips.

"Sakura?"

"Herr." Answered a severally autistic Sakura. No one really knows what happened to her or if she was just born that way. But at times she is very difficult to understand.

"Okayy." Said Iruka looking away slowly.

"Next we have. Hinata."

"H-Here." She said sinking so low into her chair she almost slid off.

"Kiba?"

"H...H-H" mumbled a barely conscious Kiba.

Iruka wasn't sure if he was saying Help or Here. So he just assumed it was Here.

"Shikamaru?"

He replied with a yawn so Iruka continued.

"Sasuke?"

"Here, can I leave now?" Asked an annoyed Sasuke.

"Not quite." Said Iruka.

So Sasuke sat back down with a sigh.

"Naruto?"

"Here!" Naruto exclaimed loudly

Iruka flinched at the sudden out burst but continued on.

"Ino?"

"Heyy." She said in a rather seductive voice that actually made Iruka take a step back. Which she answered with a giggle.

"Well that's it for roll call." He said, trying to get the blush off his face, while rubbing the back of his head.

(Sorry for such an early time skip but I didn't want to write the whole academy scene.)

A few years later...

Their academy years were finally over and Naruto graduated with a perfect score; Sasuke jumped pretty much every kid in his class; and Sakura? Well...shes Sakura. Or "Am Sockoora!" As she would say. But they're still the team 7 that we know and love...kind of.

Speaking of team 7, it was time for them to meet with their sensei for the first time. Who was now about 3 hours late, give or take a few. (Give) But that didn't matter because he was finally here.

The first thing he saw was Naruto's wide grin; Sasuke's glare of death; and Sakura's derpy stare. Which he actually found rather creepy.

"So this is my team huh?" He said with a sweat drop.

"OK well tell me your hobbies, likes, dislikes, and goals.

Naruto jumped right up to go first.

"Hobbies? Well I like training and eating ramen."

"Likes? Well...training and ramen."

"Dislikes? When people are mistreated and when I run out of ramen"

"Goals? Well. Im going to be Hokage some day! BELIEVE IT!"

"Next." Said Kakashi which made Naruto frown and sit down.

Sasuke reluctantly stood up.

"Well my hobbies are stealing, robbing, and thieving."

"I like the look on some ones face after I steal their wrist watch."

"I dislike getting caught and my goal is to destroy a certain somebody."

Kakashi couldn't help but sweat drop after this because he suddenly realized his watch was no longer on his wrist but Sasuke's instead.

"That's the look I like." Said Sasuke with a smirk.

"And besides its not like you use it!" He added.

Kakashi had to agree with him on that one.

"And last but not least." Said kakashi

"Well my hobbies are-" Sakura started but

then realized her mistake, she was talking normally.

Naruto was staring in disbelief even Sasuke was surprised.

"Shit..." She whispered in an undertone.

"So your not retarded?!" Naruto yelled, but then realized what he said and covered his mouth.

"No..." Said Sakura.

"But why? Why did you pretend?" Asked Naruto "Well I'm not that great at academics so I pretended to be autistic so they would grade me based off special ed standerds." She said nervously while rubbing the back of her head.

"OK well my goals are-" She was then cut off by Kakashi.

"I've heard enough."

"What?! I haven't even started yet!" She shot back.

"From your first story I can already tell that your a complete weirdo." He said with a smile.

She suddenly shot up and charged at Kakashi. He easily stopped her with one hand while using the other to read his book.

"Let go of me so I can shove that perverted book up your ass!" She screamed at him.

"Well that's no place for my favorite book." He said sounding a little hurt.

"But oh well. This meeting is done. We will meet again at training ground 3 tomorrow for your test. Be there at 8." He said while reading his book.

As he put the book in his pocket he then added "Oh yeah and don't eat breakfast, unless you want to see it twice."

He then disappeared, which cause the very angry Sakura he was holding back to fall flat on her face

Naruto bursted out laughing, even Sasuke let out a chuckle.

She then got up her face was beet red and she took off to who knows where.

"Hey Sasuke you wanna hang out or-" Naruto began but Sasuke cut him off.

"Shut up before I break my foot off in your ass." But he said it so calmly you wouldn't of thought he said that.

"O-Oh OK a-another time then." He stammered then walked away leaving Sasuke to his thoughts.

But Sasuke's only thoughts were:

'I can't believe that kid had that much money.'

'Haha yeah...HAD.'

"Hmm let's see I've got $20, $40, $60, $110." He counted aloud

"Holy shit! Who needs work when you have idiots?!"

A/N: Hey this is my first fic I hope its not terrible so not too much hate mail. But anyway next chapter will be the bell test so I'll try to make it interesting.

Read, Enjoy, Review and I'll keep writing see you next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were all waiting at training ground 3.

It was nearing noon and kakashi said to be here by 8.

He also said no breakfast so they were all starving. But It looked like he finally showed up.

"Haha sorry guys I was busy writing reports and lost track of time." He explained

"We all know that's BS sensei..." Said Naruto

"OK well now that I'm here I'll explain the test." He said

He pulled two silver bells out of his pocket and held them up.

"You have to get these bells from me." He said with a smile.

"That will be easy!" Shouted Naruto

"Ah ah ahh." He said

"I'm not done yet. You have to get these bells...from inside my pants."

They weren't sure that they heard him right until they saw him stuff the bells down his pants with a wide grin.

"What?!" Yelled Sakura

"Yup." Answered their sensei

Sasuke started slowly walking towards Kakashi.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked curiously

"Hn." He said back

"Oh yeah, I forgot how much of an ass you are." She mumbled to herself.

Sasuke reached Kakashi, then unexpectedly plunged his hand down his sensei's pant. Which drew a gasp from his team.

Kakashi's grin just got bigger, but Sasuke's eyes got really wide.

"Umm Sasuke? That's not the bell. Hehe." Kakashi told him.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Kakashi and said:

"OK then give me the bell before I rip it off."

Kakashi sweat dropped.

"Umm Sasuke I don't think you can rip that off."

"Fine then I'll beat it off!" He said back

"Sasuke, that sounds like rape."

But Sasuke didn't want to hear it, he began shouting:

"Want me to beat your dick off?! Come on! I'll beat your dick off with both hands!"

"Ummm." Was all Kakashi could say, he was speechless.

"I think he means he's going to punch you so many times in the genital area, that your dicks just going to fall off." Explained Naruto. (21 jump street reference.)

Kakashi sweat dropped.

"I understand that Naruto." He said

While Kakashi was talking to Naruto, Sasuke tried to take an upper cut to his sensei's cahonies.

But as soon as he made contact, there was a puff of smoke.

"DAMMIT THAT HURT!" Sasuke began to yell

"What happened?" Asked Sakura

"I PUNCHED A FUCKING LOG! THATS WHAT HAPPENED!" He said while rolling around on the ground like there was a fire.

A few hours later...

They had been trying to snag the bells for about 3 hours now, but to no success.

"OK time for lunch!" Kakashi said happily.

"Uh oh. I only have two for you guys." He said trying to hold back his smile

Sakura and Naruto got the lunches and for some reason Sasuke got tied to a pole.

Sensei said it was because he touched his Wang. He also said we weren't aloud to feed him or else we fail.

Which is kind of a problem because Sasuke is the strongest member of our team and if he's starving then he will be useless.

So she decided to feed him. As soon as the rice touched his tongue, she felt some one tap her shoulder.

She slowly turned around to see Kakashi with his broad smile.

Needless to say, she freaked out.

She screamed at the top of her lungs; ended up throwing the lunch; and stabbed Sasuke with the chop sticks.

Then our sensei spoke and what he said they will never forget

"You...fail."

"What?!" She yelled back

"Yup, you failed. All of you. Follow me, were going to go see the Hokage to get your title of shinobi rightfully removed."

They began to sluggishly follow him. But were they went wasn't the Hokage's tower but instead ended up at a ramen shop.

They all got excited and thought he was messing with them and that they really passed but what he said next destroyed those thoughts.

"Hmm, must have taken a wrong turn." He said looking at his map.

He looked up and couldn't help but smile

"I'm kidding. You guys passed."

"Really?!" Sakura and Naruto said in unison while Sasuke said "Hn."

"Yup. Congratulations! Ramen on me!" He said

They then walked to the booth and sat down to order.

He was about to join them when he realized that his wallet was gone.

Sasuke was staring at him with a grin.

So Kakashi decided to sneak away and just go home.

They didn't realized Kakashi wasn't there until the shop gave them the bill.

"KAKASHI!"

A/N: This is the second chapter to my new story, hope you like it.

Read, Enjoy, Review and I'll keep writing.

See you next chapter!


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